World Cancer Day- Some Shared Wisdom

💜This post is in honour of World Cancer Day.💜

This is a picture of me one week before I had a double Mastectomy for Stage 1 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. 

It was also my husband's 50th birthday and we threw a BIG party for our friends and family.

Little did they know it was also a good-bye party for my body and life as I knew it.

I rented a beautiful dress and put my girls on full display one last time. It was an incredible night for the memory bank.

I wanted to contribute to this day in a way that would be meaningful for my network. I know it can feel awkward to support someone going through cancer, so here is my take.

FIRSTLY:

💜 It's okay to be upset and not know what to say, but it's still important to be awkward AND brave and say something.💜

My DON'TS:

❌ Share stories about strangers with cancer (especially negative outcomes)

❌Bombard them with medical questions

❌Avoid them or ignore their diagnosis if you know

MY DOS:

✔️ Ask gentle questions about how they feel

✔️Acknowledge it's hard and sit with them in the difficulty (One of my BFFs fed me watermelon and held my hand the day my hair fell out)

✔️Offer specific help, not open-ended "let me know what you need"

✔️Drop off meals, books, flowers, or small thoughtful items without asking. I had one neighbour who often dropped fresh cut fruit for my kids and me so I wouldn't have to buy and cut it)

✔️Connect them to others with positive outcomes (but don't push)

✔️Text to check in emotionally: "Thinking of you" goes a long way

✔️Remember they can be sad AND strong—hold both

✔️Check in with their spouse too—they're struggling as well

KEY TAKEAWAY:

Assume they are creative, resourceful, and whole. Be ok with being awkward, offer specific support, and remember that being present matters more than having the perfect words.

💜 A big thank you to my circle of care near and far who continue to hold me up and keep me going. 💜