The Pattern of Transition: Why Every New Beginning Starts with an Ending

My husband's first startup coach included a book in his welcome package that would change how I understand life's most challenging moments. "Transitions" by William Bridges sat on our shelf for months until I finally picked it up—and couldn't put it down. This isn't just another self-help book. It's a roadmap for the difficult, painful, and confusing times we all face as humans. Too often, we get trapped in our own heads, unable to see the patterns or follow the steps that could set us free.

Bridges breaks it down into a deceptively simple formula:

🧮Transition = Ending + Neutral Zone + New Beginning

The Pain Tunnel We All Must Walk

A friend navigating a brutal divorce recently joked that she was stuck in the "Pain Tunnel"—and had to choose daily whether to keep walking through it to reach the other side. Bridges calls this stage the "neutral zone," and it's where the real work happens. In this uncomfortable space between what was and what will be, you're receiving signals and cues. Unless you try to rush through it—which only disrupts the process—you're slowly being transformed into the person you need to be for what comes next.

Why We Must Start with Endings

Here's what I'm learning: people in transition want to skip straight to the future. Whether facing a layoff, promotion, divorce, midlife crisis, or new parenthood, we want to fast-forward past the pain to a brighter chapter. It seems easier, less messy. But Bridges taught me something crucial—we must start with endings. We have to let go of what needs to be released before we can truly begin again.

My physical transformation from April 2024 to April 2025 - and that's just my head!

My Double Transition

Right now, I'm navigating two major transitions simultaneously: life before and after cancer, and the sudden shift into menopause triggered by my treatment. It's a double whammy that's forcing me to practice everything I'm learning about this process. My work is finding closure with my "pre-cancer" life and body—acknowledging what I'm leaving behind so I can enter that awkward neutral zone and plant seeds for whatever comes next. It's not straightforward. It's bittersweet. But there's comfort in knowing this isn't my first transition, and I'm wired to navigate these simple yet challenging steps. The beauty of understanding this process is recognizing that every ending carries the seeds of a new beginning. The neutral zone isn't punishment—it's preparation.

✨What do you need to let go of right now?✨